Is She Serious: Jessica Simpson

This picture is old (from the summer, August 27th to be exact) but I STILL think of this and shudder.  Look, like my girl Caroline (Nabors) Rosen always says, Big Girls Need Love Too.  She clearly couldn't sustain a life at 90 lbs, who can blame her. Girl be lovin her some ribs, go at it. But dress appropriately for your newfound rolls. Where do I even begin....

First, her boobs are absolutely pouring out of her dress so much that im surprised she wasn't suffocated by her own cleavage.  Second, the belt of Spanx is practically cutting her in half - um JSimps, that line shouldn't be there. Third, the pancake butt from Spanx combined with a dress two sizes too small. Lastly, even her bra looks like its trying to break through the tight dress.  I just wonder at what point she looked and herself and said, "Lookin good, Jess." In no way was this dress deceivingly tight, its is VERY VERY obviously too freakin tight.

I wonder if the reason she and Ken Paves are no longer friends is because he let her wear this in public. As her main gay, he should have taken one look and yelled "Oh HEEEELLLLL NO."