Sometimes when I watch 30 Rock I have this irrational fear that I am turning into Liz Lemon. I hear too many similarities to my real life in her one liners that freak me out and have me convinced I'll be 40, alone, eating cheese and passing gas on my couch forever. Seriously. The quotes below are the ones that truly stand out....
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure... I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says "healthy body image" on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for ... a week.
Guy: Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Liz: [sighs] Really dude? I got to move my coat? There are like 4 empty seats over there - can't you just be cool?
Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink!
Liz: Really? But I already have a drink... do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
Liz: I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
Jaime: I'm 20.
Liz: Oh boy. This just went from a senior dating a freshman to Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau.
Jaime: Are those friends of yours?
Liz: I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
Jack: How surprising that your world view is food-based.
Liz: You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
Liz: Don't drag my best friend, TV, into this.
Nancy Donovan: Come on Liz, every man in this room is single. Who do you want to meet?
Liz: (long exhale)...Nobody. I mean that guy has a beard, who knows what's under there. Tatoo guy, too permiscuous. T-shirt tucked into jeans (pulls thumb down and makes fart noise). Oh that guy just looks like he'd be mean to me (refering to guy talking emphatically into cell phone).
Nancy Donovan: God Liz, you're so negative!
Liz: I want someone who will be monogamous and nice to his mother. I want someone who likes musicals, but knows to just shut his mouth when I'm watching Lost. And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame, and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed, like I do.